When you view life as a continual learning journey, you change your perspective from a short term view to a long term view. It allows you to focus on the benefits of the experiences, regardless of the mistakes you do. Mistakes are integral part of the learning process and as being a human. Mistakes are part of the menu of building self esteem and having a successful life. It is a requirement for engaging and fulfilling life rather than life full of avoidance and fear. Having a constructive view about mistakes, leads you to face challenging situation and bring courage into your life which from you can grow and be fulfilled.

You can avoid mistakes, complaint about mistake or you can learn from it. If you want to learn from your mistake, do the following. When you make a mistake, ask yourself: “What could I have done differently?” and “What have I learned from this mistake/experience?” Learn from the answer and remember the lesson. Ask yourself what you might have done differently. Could you have taken a different approach? Could you have planned better? What outcome might have occurred in that case? Remember, planning is essential – an old cliche but true “failing to plan, is planning to fail.” Learn from where you have gone wrong – nothing is a mistake if you can learn something from it.

Effective psychotherapy can help you reduce or eliminate psychological symptoms without medication. However, there are times that medication is important instrument to make you feel better and calm your brain, so psychotherapy treatment can work faster and more effectively.

Medication can make you start feeling better and faster than psychotherapy, but it is counseling that increases your ability to manage your symptoms in a constructive and healthy way. Psychotherapy is the treatment that helps you change your thoughts and behaviors, and provide you with the strategy to handle challenging situations without the side effect of need for medication. It teaches you the skills and tools necessary to create functioning and healthy life despite psychological challenges such as depression, anxiety, anger, trauma, self esteem etc. Accordingly, medication may treat the symptoms, but won’t solve the problem. However, psychotherapy may solve the deep rooted problem, or teach how to manage the problem effectively to create lifelong constructive change.

Yet, it is important to note that only a doctor can prescribe you with medication. Yet, it is important to understand the implication, consensus and side-effect of the medication taken.

Humans are decision making creators. They make decisions all the time. What to eat, what to dress, what to do, what to say or not to say, how to act or how not to act. The decisions are done all the time consciously or unconsciously. Unfortunately, there are people who often believe they have NO choice in how they ultimately think about themselves and their situation. These people mostly feel as victims.

Yet, it is important to know that at any give situation, no matter how bad it is, you have the power to view the situation in a constructive way that works to your long term benefit. If you change your thoughts about yourself and the situation, you can transform the way you feel and behave. In other words, your thoughts dictate the way you experience life for the good or for the bad. So, why not think toward the positives?

The sooner you realize that you are responsible for your own happiness, the sooner you can consciously choose thoughts that support your positive self esteem and self confidence. When you realize that no external conditions or factors (no other person, no drugs, no alcohol, no material possession etc.)  can make you happy or unhappy, you become responsible for your own fulfillment. With that in mind, you can start choosing thoughts and believes that support your well-being. It would require awareness of the thoughts you are thinking that prevent you from your feeling good about yourself.

The first step toward feeling good is to notice when you are being critical and judgmental of yourself. Then make the choice to strengthen your brain pathways that supports healthy self esteem by choosing new positive thoughts and focusing your attention on them. Every time you change your thoughts to constructive ones, you create new healthier pathways in your brain that upgrade the software in your brain.  Every time you do the change, you choose to be happy and send a clear message to your brain that says: “I am the only one who can make myself happy or miserable, therefore, I choose to do what is needed to make me happy.”!”

This does not mean that there won’t be times when you are sad, upset or confronted with fear. However, it does mean that you focus on your ability to make yourself happy. It means that you build your self esteem and confidence. You become more aware of your feelings, identify the thoughts (What are you telling yourself about the situation?) that result in your feelings bad, and then shift your attention to thoughts supporting positive self esteem and positive outcome.

The decision to see a therapist or a counselor is a very personal one, most often made during times of indecision, stress or emotional pain. The decision to seek help may also be the result of long standing issues or problems that may involve recurrent worries, frustrations, guilt, or self-defeating behaviors.
You may wish to consider seeking psychotherapy or counseling services if you or someone close to you is experiencing:

• Health problems, sleep problems, or medical symptoms that cannot be explained by a physician that might stem from a psychological problem or that worsened by a psychological problem.
• Relationship concerns with friends, family, spouse, partner, work etc
• Feel you are  stuck in any aspect of your life
• Job/Career/Employment – Find yourself unfulfilled with you job, career or want to find your right track
• You are just not happy, unfulfilled and want to feel better, but don’t quite know how to get there
• Depression, mood swings, anxiety or loneliness
• Excessive anger, frustration or guilt
• Stress, anxiety or constant worries
• Obsessive and compulsive thoughts and behaviors

• Problems with food, weight, alcohol or drug use
• Changes or potential changes in your life
• Problems following a traumatic event
• Marital, parenting or relationship problems
• Crisis that involves self-harming behavior, a risk of violence or the risk of suicide
• Self-esteem issues
• Depression or mood swings
• Persistent negative thoughts
• Problems with drugs or alcohol
• Loneliness, meaning, purpose, spiritual issues
• Improving communication, problem solving and conflict resolution skills
• Chronic or life threatening illness
• Life event concerns: marriage, divorce, parenthood, step-family issues, retirement, old age
• Issues of sexuality or sexual identity
• Managing traumatic events
• Struggling with the after-effects of childhood abuse/neglect
• Domestic violence or other forms of abuse

The decision to pick up the phone and ask for help is often difficult. Yet, whatever your reasons for seeking therapy, experienced therapists know this and can help put you at ease and answer your questions. They will listen to your concerns and help you decide upon the most appropriate course of action.