Procrastination becomes a problem when delaying tasks leads to internal and/or external consequences.  The external consequence may be minor or severe, from missing a meeting to losing your job. The internal consequences also range from minor to severe, from mild discomfort to guilt, shame, self-condemnation and despair.

Procrastination is a habit, a learned response to anxiety-producing situations or tasks. It is an avoidant behavior we adopt when we are to do a task which reflects our abilities and we feel afraid/anxious that we will not measure up. Fear of failure or of success, cultural limitations or imagined disabilities all contribute to a person holding them self back for fear of finding out that they will fall short and thus it will prove without a shadow of a doubt that they are worthless individuals.

Personal competence is the antidote to procrastination and comprises of five elements: emotional strength, well-directed thought, time-management skills, control over habits, and task completion abilities. Therefore, most strategies for overcoming procrastination are based on improving these five skill areas, and involve: improving emotional control and adjusting one’s underlying attitude, focusing attention and thinking rationally, learning executive (self-management) procedures like planning and scheduling, learning habit-changing methods, and acquiring better task completion and problem solving skills.

Overcoming addiction requires a great deal of courage and effort. But first, you must admit that you have a problem; that you have an addiction. This is very difficult part. Only when you recognize and admit to yourself that you have an addiction will you be able to start overcoming it. Remember, true courage comes accepting weakness and trying to do something about it.

The following are few ideas to help you overcome the alcohol abuse:

• Determine the negative effects that alcohol has on your life and list down your reasons for quitting. It could include the effects of heavy alcohol use such as liver problems, gaining too much weight or personal reasons such hurting your family, or not able to achieve certain goal. Think of what you can gain by overcoming the addiction habit.
• Maintain a sober lifestyle by taking up new, healthy hobbies such as sports, art, music and volunteer work. Fill your time constructively, something recreational like painting or learning a new language. Sport activity or work-out routine could help you overcome your addiction since you can see the negative effects of exercising then drinking afterwards, and clearly, these two don’t match.
• Join a support group and attend the meetings regularly. Surround yourself with people that that healthy goals and willing to support one another. Remember how it feels when people say “I understand.” Talk with people after the support group. Find someone you can call and talk to when you feel the urge to drink.
• Eliminate things from your life that encourage you to drink. Recovering from an addiction to alcohol means making significant changes to your life. Throw out your alcohol. Stop hanging out in bars or pubs. Avoid hanging out with friends or family members who like to drink alcohol in large qualities. If you have a spouse or roommate who drinks, ask them to support you by not drinking around you. This is a step you must take if you’re serious about quitting alcohol.
• Create reasonable goals toward quitting drinking. Keep goals obtainable. Don’t set your goals so high that you can’t reach them and leave you frustrated. Maybe you can’t just quit all at once. At least set a goal of having one less drink today and then one less than that tomorrow. Small steps are the way to go and obtaining it motivates you to make greater improvements.

Overcoming addiction is difficult and yet possible. Remember that it is normal to relapse, feel down and challenged mentally and physically. Yet, never give up and do not lose the sight why you do it. Picture yourself how you would look in the future when you’re completely alcohol-free. Visualization is very powerful in helping you make the right decisions.

Self esteem is defined by Dr. Twerski as a true and accurate awareness of one’s skills, capabilities and limitations. The importance of this is clear – one can optimally adjust or adapt to his reality or environment only to the degree that one’s perception of reality is correct. An incorrect perception of reality is a delusion, and someone who is delusional cannot possibly adjust properly to reality.

If I am delusional about myself, there is no way I can live a happy and productive life. If I happen to be bright but think that I am dull, if I am personable but think myself to be undesirable, if I am handsome and think myself to be homely, I am delusional, and my distorted self-concept precludes an optimal adjustment to life. Indeed, I believe that the overwhelming number of psychological problems that are not of physiologic origin are invariably due to low self-esteem, i.e., to a distorted self-concept in which a person grossly underestimates oneself.

You may say, “I know myself thoroughly, and I know that I am unlikable or dull or unattractive or impersonal. Those are facts, and it’s not my imagination.” However, having weaknesses does not make you incompetent or a failure. The real purpose of life is to become the best person you can become and to utilize your abilities for good.

Healthy self-esteem does not solve all the problems of life. Struggle and conflict is intrinsic to life. Sooner or later everyone experiences anxiety and pain. While self-esteem can make one less vulnerable more durable, it cannot make one ignorant of his feelings and needs.

Think of self-esteem as the immune system of consciousness. If you have a healthy immune system, you might become ill, but you are less likely to; if you do become ill, you will likely recover faster, your resilience is greater. Similarly, if you have high self-esteem, you might still know times of emotional suffering, but less often and with a faster recovery. Its presence does not guarantee fulfillment, but its absence guarantees anxiety, frustration and despair. So, focus on building your self esteem by creating greater awareness and build the skills toward more durable, fulfilling life.

What is courage? Courage is quality of being brave. It is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain. It is the ability to overcome fear without being deflected from a chosen course of action.

The courage to act is the strength to carry out a goal while facing internal and external difficulties. To have courage is to feel fear, and to act in spite of it. It means to do the right thing despite obstacles, challenges, under condition of uncertainly and regardless of the outcome (failure or success).

“The courage to be is” is courage while facing an internal obstacles. It is the courage to hold onto meaning in the face of doubt, ambiguity and uncertainty. The courage to be is the alternative to despair. It is the courage required by a recently bereaved spouse sitting alone in an empty apartment and wondering how she can find the strength to live without her beloved husband. It is the courage required by someone suffering from chronic illness, and the people who care about them. It is the courage required by someone suffering from depression, searching each morning for a reason to get out of bed.

And it is also the courage required by each of us, even in the most normal of circumstances. How many of us, in a quiet moment, have been struck by a sudden doubt about the meaning that underpins our lives, and a fear that the goals we had set for ourselves may not in the end be realized. It is at moments like these that the courage to be is required.

Even when we come to doubt what we thought were our goals, even when we encounter a crack in the foundation of meaning, it is important to know that all is not lost. There is still larger meaning for us to find; there are still values of ultimate concern to which we can dedicate ourselves and commit ourselves to life no matter what is the situation.

As Edgar Guest said in her poem “Courage was never designed for show; It isn’t a thing that can come and go; It’s written in victory and defeat, and every trial a man may meet.“ Courage is more than a daring deed. It’s the breath of life and a strong man’s creed.”

Ultimately, courage is the recognition of something beyond ourselves. It is the commitment to a meaning that transcends our instinct for personal safety, our craving for societal approval, and the challenge of our personal doubts. When you do courage and take risks, you build an important positive future. Being courageous is the key to improving self-esteem and at the same time creates a fulfilling life.

The most important relationship we will ever have in our lives is the one we have with ourselves. If we feel good with ourselves, accept ourselves and think positively about ourselves, then we become fulfilled. Therefore, how we relate to ourselves will determine how happy we will be.

Building self esteem is probably the most important factor that leads to happy and fulfilling life. Healthy self esteem requires self knowledge, self acceptance, empathy, compassion, self respect and personal understanding. To achieve these states, it requires ongoing personal work. This work can be enhanced by a competent psychotherapist who can guide you through the process. Self esteem is founded on a fundamental understanding of who we are, what we need, where we are and where we want to be. Self-esteem is the psychological foundation that our personality is built upon. The stronger our sense of self, the more we will be able to withstand the storms and difficulties that come along with life’s challenges.

Improving self esteem and building confidence requires the development of abilities such flexibility, durability, acceptance, engagement and being present while developing appreciation. By building our character, we improve our self value and enhance our internal strength and internal freedom, rather than allowing our externals constrains to limit us or control us. This in turn leads to the creation of a durable, flexible and fulfilling life.

Self esteem is knowing how life really is, and accepting life as it is. It is not about imposing our expectations or idealized notion of how life should be. It is not about blaming ourselves or others when life doesn’t turn out that way. Learning to live with how life is, and developing an understanding, compassionate relationship with ourselves is the key to healthier self esteem. As such, healthy self esteem is based on the ability to develop realistic goals while acquiring abilities and skills to construct a satisfying life.

Humans are decision making creators. They make decisions all the time. What to eat, what to dress, what to do, what to say or not to say, how to act or how not to act. The decisions are done all the time consciously or unconsciously. Unfortunately, there are people who often believe they have NO choice in how they ultimately think about themselves and their situation. These people mostly feel as victims.

Yet, it is important to know that at any give situation, no matter how bad it is, you have the power to view the situation in a constructive way that works to your long term benefit. If you change your thoughts about yourself and the situation, you can transform the way you feel and behave. In other words, your thoughts dictate the way you experience life for the good or for the bad. So, why not think toward the positives?

The sooner you realize that you are responsible for your own happiness, the sooner you can consciously choose thoughts that support your positive self esteem and self confidence. When you realize that no external conditions or factors (no other person, no drugs, no alcohol, no material possession etc.)  can make you happy or unhappy, you become responsible for your own fulfillment. With that in mind, you can start choosing thoughts and believes that support your well-being. It would require awareness of the thoughts you are thinking that prevent you from your feeling good about yourself.

The first step toward feeling good is to notice when you are being critical and judgmental of yourself. Then make the choice to strengthen your brain pathways that supports healthy self esteem by choosing new positive thoughts and focusing your attention on them. Every time you change your thoughts to constructive ones, you create new healthier pathways in your brain that upgrade the software in your brain.  Every time you do the change, you choose to be happy and send a clear message to your brain that says: “I am the only one who can make myself happy or miserable, therefore, I choose to do what is needed to make me happy.”!”

This does not mean that there won’t be times when you are sad, upset or confronted with fear. However, it does mean that you focus on your ability to make yourself happy. It means that you build your self esteem and confidence. You become more aware of your feelings, identify the thoughts (What are you telling yourself about the situation?) that result in your feelings bad, and then shift your attention to thoughts supporting positive self esteem and positive outcome.