Psychotherapy in NYC was the subject of many shows, movies and particularly Woody Allen movies as well as many New Yorker cartoons. The reality is that many individuals living in New York City face high level of stress and struggle with physical, emotional and mental problems.

A Gallup poll that was performed on 2010, ranked New York City near the bottom on emotional health. The study measured level happiness, worry, anger, and stress and New York City was ranked 132 out of 162 cities. Therefore, it is not surprising that a disproportionate number of people in New York City engage in psychotherapy and counseling. New York City is full of mental healthcare therapists who want to look after your well-being. There are close to 5000 licensed psychologists practicing in New York City and many more other mental health professionals such: Social workers, Marriage and Family Therapists, Mental Health Counselors, Psychoanalysts etc. Manhattan has the highest concentration for psychotherapy referrals per person.

Why do so many people living in New York City see psychotherapists? Many indicate that life in NYC simply is stressful. Due to the fast paced lifestyle in this big city, many people suffer from stress related problems which are manifested in different ways, physically, mentally and emotionally. Some would also say that in such complex city that is driven by fast pace life style, it is harder to form deep interpersonal connections. Lack of social connection and intimate relationship may result in increase of alienation, despair, depression, anxiety, anger and addiction. And, as we mentioned, it is easier to find a psychotherapist in New York City simply because there are so many available therapists around.

So, not only do more people seek therapy in New York City, but those who do may find it easier to talk about their issues. In New York therapy is more common, and people are less concerned with what others might think of them as compare to other smaller cities and rural USA, who still view psychotherapy with its negative stigma. Of course, many people choose therapy because they see it as a mean to improve skills and enhance growth, fulfillment and happiness. They consider psychotherapy as a form of self-enhancement rather than just a place to address problems or to resolve deep wounds.

Good health is an essential ingredient to a happy and enjoyable life. Even when your schedule is crazy with too much to do and your time to accomplish everything is limited, don’t let your well-being suffer. The next time you have some type of psychological condition that you want to address, you can easily contact spiral2grow, psychotherapists in NYC to help you.  spiral2grow, located in New York City offers quality of services of highly trained psychotherapists. After all, being healthy and taking care of your well-being is a necessity.

Good health is an essential ingredient to a happy and enjoyable life. Even when your schedule is crazy with too much to do and your time to accomplish everything is limited, don’t let your well-being suffer. The next time you have some type of psychological condition that you want to address, you can easily contact spiral2grow, psychotherapists in NYC to help you.  spiral2grow, located in New York City offers quality of services of highly trained psychotherapists. After all, being healthy and taking care of your well-being is a necessity.

Fear of Commitment

Fear of commitment is infecting modern relationships. Not only it is difficult to be happy and satisfied with oneself, it is even more difficult to find happiness, satisfaction and fulfilling connection in one’s intimate relationship with another person. It is no wonder that many people react to this challenge by fearing long-term commitment.

The following are few examples how fear of commitment can manifest itself:

• Fear of losing their freedom.
• Waiting for the right one; having the ideal (wrong) notion that there is only one/right person to be committed too.  A ferry tell notion of “living happily ever after.”
• Having a fear of losing their own identity if they were to allow a relationship to develop.
• Expressing high levels of criticism of a partner or relationship; finding faults with others.
• Hurting their partner (deliberately or unconsciously) while sabotaging the relationship. Effectively giving reason for the relationship to fail.
• Having extremely high (unrealistic) expectations in their partners or themselves, so that a relationship doesn’t develop. Rejecting other prematurely and does not allow a potential relationship the opportunity to grow.
• Having multiple partners, while leaving a trail of failed relationships and a lot of tears.
• Rejecting efforts from their partner to discuss marriage or other kind of commitment.
• Interacting with other people who also suffer from commitment issues, so as to avoid any relationship issues to come up.
• Ambivalence and confusion color their decision making particularly in intimate relationship. They may leave a relationship, return to it, leave again, and so on.
• Some individuals may also not be able to commit to work, hobbies, timetables, and even counseling!

Fear of commitment may be originated from several sources. It may be because you witnessed a separation of your parents or any of your near and dear ones. A confusion of social/cultural or parental pressure with your own personal needs/values may lead to fear of commitment. You may have experienced a traumatic (emotional) experience or tragic incident in life who forces you to maintain a safe distance from others. In addition, suffering from low self esteem, issue with identity, enmeshment, boundaries etc. may lead to challenges in this area.

Procrastination becomes a problem when delaying tasks leads to internal and/or external consequences.  The external consequence may be minor or severe, from missing a meeting to losing your job. The internal consequences also range from minor to severe, from mild discomfort to guilt, shame, self-condemnation and despair.

Procrastination is a habit, a learned response to anxiety-producing situations or tasks. It is an avoidant behavior we adopt when we are to do a task which reflects our abilities and we feel afraid/anxious that we will not measure up. Fear of failure or of success, cultural limitations or imagined disabilities all contribute to a person holding them self back for fear of finding out that they will fall short and thus it will prove without a shadow of a doubt that they are worthless individuals.

Personal competence is the antidote to procrastination and comprises of five elements: emotional strength, well-directed thought, time-management skills, control over habits, and task completion abilities. Therefore, most strategies for overcoming procrastination are based on improving these five skill areas, and involve: improving emotional control and adjusting one’s underlying attitude, focusing attention and thinking rationally, learning executive (self-management) procedures like planning and scheduling, learning habit-changing methods, and acquiring better task completion and problem solving skills.

Montaigne: “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.”

The above statement by Montaigne (a French philosopher) illustrates the power of the mind on our life, or more specifically, the negative power of our worried mind that has nothing to do with reality. Excessive worry is exhausting, tiring and have negative consequences on your emotional and physical well-being. The imagination of the worrier is full of thoughts about things that will never happen, or that turn out to be not as bad as imagined. The negative, protective mind cannot let go of troubling, pessimistic thoughts and cannot see beyond a negative outcome.

There is something about worrying that makes it hard to give up. In fact, worrying can be beneficial. Worrying is a defense mechanism and alerts you from danger or negative consequences. Ignoring a back pain or not preparing your car for the winter might cause you some serious troubles. Worry direct your attention to a possible problem or unstable situation and push you to take a constructive action toward resolving it. For example, worrying about downsizing could motivate you to prepare a resume and upgrade your skills or looking for another job in another company.

Many of us worry needlessly and excessively and live our lives in fear, plagued with anxiety and a general overall feeling of uneasiness. Here are some tips that will help you stop excessive worry and have inner peace:

• Write down the three things (concerns) that you worry excessively about. Only focus on these three major worries that seem to be on your mind on a daily basis. Order these concerns from more serious as the highest to least serious as the lowest.
• For each worry, ask yourself if you can or cannot control it. For example, if you are worried about deterioration of your health, determine if this is something you can or cannot control. In other words, determine what is within your control and what is beyond your control. In this case, you can control how you take care of yourself by eating healthy food, exercising, sleeping well and reducing stress. You can control parts of this worry, but of course not the entire worry itself.
• If you find yourself worrying excessively over things you cannot control, try to shift your narrow perspective on the negative consequences, and look at the bigger picture of life. Say to yourself “STOP, I am wasting my energy on things I cannot control.” “I better be constructive with my energy.”
• Allow yourself to be worry of 10 minutes per day. Set aside this time daily and use this time only for your worry. You may eventually stop doing this by realizing that it is a waste of time. Until this realization settled, you need some time just to feel your fears, and eventually move on to more productive activities.

The above ideas are not easy to implement as it requires a continual resistance to the worry mind. Remember, do not allow yourself to have excessive worry over the things you cannot control. You will waste valuable time and energy in your life worrying about these things.

The effect of our financial situation and monetary wealth on our well-being is well documented. Today, more than ever, we are impacted by the votality of market situation and its uncertain performance and even its direction.

Normally, after a period that market was moving south, when the market starts moving up, we start feeling sense of hope. While the market continue going up, we feel relief and later optimism, excitement that can reach even euphoria. After a period that the market was moving north, when the market starts moving down, we start feeling the anxiety builds up. When it continues going down, we might be in denial. The feeling might later evolve to fear, panic and even depression.

As such, we cannot overstate the importance of keeping our emotions in check when it comes to the ups and downs of our wealth. We must be aware and accept our difficult emotions when our investment goes through loss in short run, while keeping our focus steady on managing assets and investment with a long term perspective. At times of financial gains, while we acknowledge that a strong rally could continue, it is important to understand that the risks at those times are real and significant. The key to managing the emotions created by the short terms results is to stay focus on the fundamental investment and management strategies which consider the long term objectives.

More than ever, I believe that working with professionals is important to make informed decisions. To reduce uncertainty and risk, using a conservative approach is necessary.  A conservative approach will also prove itself prudent one over time and more importantly will provide piece of mind, and improve our well being and quality of life. If one decides to take high level risk, they might gain high return, but at the same time might suffer high loss. The key guideline to well-being is to make knowledgeable decision while understanding its consequences and implications to our life (considering financial, emotional and other relevant factors).

Excessive worry effect almost every aspects of our life. Below you can find a short list of its effect.

Worry affects your physical state:

• Prevent you from relaxing
• May causes sleep disturbances such insomnia
• Makes you tired and weary
• May cause headaches or raises your blood pressure

Worry affects your thinking, feeling and behaving

• Makes it difficult to make decisions and be decisive
• Promotes pessimism, confusion and doubts and c
• Keeps you preoccupied and withdrawn
• Keeps you obsessed with negativity
• Interferes with concentration and attention
• Wastes time and energy and hinder productive action
• Lower self-confidence
• makes you anxious and fearful of taking risks
• May lead to depression and emptiness