The purpose of of anger management therapy is not to eliminate the anger, but to use it as a signal to indicate that there is a need that is not fulfilled. Through anger management counseling, individuals are taught how to slow down their arousal when angered, so that it can be processed and acted on in a proper, constructive and healthy way without the negative consequences when it is uncontrolled.

There are many triggers that can set off anger episodes. When anger is intense our ability to think is weaken. We often react immediately and worry about the consequences later. This can be dangerous and can make us feel ashamed and guilty later. Many times old immature habits from our childhood can be triggered and reenacted. Reacting to anger situations just keeps us stuck in the past and decreases our ability to change, mature and grow. Knowing what triggers anger inside us can be useful so that we can attempt to avoid or manage those triggers in healthy ways. Anger treatment with effective therapist can teach effective coping skills to create proactive, healthy, durable and fulfilling life while anger emotion is used toward building more mature character.

Anger can be very damaging to the body, mind and emotional state. Long and continual occurrence of stress from uncontrolled anger can have very negative effects. The members of the anger management group are taught skills for relaxation as well as ways to express anger safely and assertively.

Anger that is not acted upon constructively but rather accumulated can contribute to a passive-aggressive expression of anger, or even to depression. Parts of the lessons of the anger management group are to find ways to improve self-esteem, and to endure what is often a very stressful and hectic life. The group discusses ways to learn greater tolerance, improve empathy, and to forgive when necessary in order to let go and move on.

A key element to the group of anger management is the mutual support that each member provides to the other. Members often make very useful suggestions to others about what has worked for them and how others should appraise or deal with a difficult situation. Each Anger group is unique in many ways but I always find the experience rewarding. Many times the changes are dramatic and can be very beneficial.

There has been a debate in regards to anger management program and its usefulness in changing habitual angry behaviors that have been around with most adults for a lifetime. Statistics show the positive benefits of anger management with people who are actively involved in a quality program and practicing what they are learning on a daily basis.

Anger does have a best part. The best part of your angry behavior is that you are in charge of it and you control its outcome, which means that you have the power to change your response to anger for the better. The key is to have knowledge, skills, determination and the desire to manage your anger.

People attend a structured anger management program that tells them exactly what to do and how to manage their anger. However, sometimes, this general approach to anger management is that one program does not fit all. Everyone’s needs are different and who likes to be told what to do or what is right for their own life?

So, to attain the best result of anger management, a customized program is suggested. After all, you are the expert of your life and anger management comes from within you. You just might need some shaking up.

A flame like emotion is a primitive force, left unchecked is chaotic and destructive, but if controlled, it can be powerful tool. Like the lamp that controls the flame, our brain can control our emotions, and we as human can learn to manage our emotions in a constructive manner.

In the past (as a child), your anger was a source of strength and at time gave you courage while it protected you. It serves you as a “survival mechanism.” But, now, as an adult if you realize that you are not in this a survival situation, you can build a better mechanism to protect yourself and use the emotions as a signal and indicator to your status.

When you pay attention to this signal (the emotion) try stay with it and not to react to it. Then, you can slowly figure out what this signal means and what is your need. Once you realize your need, think and find a constructive way to express your need in a respectful assertive manner. It is important to note that expressing your needs does not necessary leads to fulfilling your needs. In this regards, one has to know what is within his power and what is beyond his power. All one can do it to do his best (with in his power) to get what he needs, yet accept what is beyond his power and accept it.

Originated in StarTrek and Revised by Moshe Ratson

It is clear that our moods are influenced by our physical chemistry and by the negative or positive events that happened to us. It is apparent that we cannot change or prevent certain events (good or bad) from happening to us from time to time. Yet, this is only part of factors that influence our moods and it offers limited view of our emotional system.

The Greek philosopher, Epictetus said, Men are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them. In other words, our emotions and moods are actually not caused by the events happened to us directly, but rather our emotions are affected by the meaning we give to the events themselves. As such, we get upset, angry, content or happy as a result of the way we inter-operate and think about the events.

This old yet revolutionary knowledge has a tremendous power. It allows us to change our position from a passive and victim view to a proactive and responsible view. It gives us the power to change the way we feel by changing the way we think; to choose healthy and constructive thoughts that lead to durable and fulfilling life. It allows us to move from a beyond our control position to within our control position. The within of our control position does not mean necessary to get what we want, but rather to do our best (within our power) to get what we want and to accept what is beyond our control. In other words, accept the things you cannot change (beyond your control), and change the things (within your control) that you cannot accept. Again, the adaptation of this philosophy builds self esteem and self confidence and creates durable and fulfilling life.

Anger is a strong emotion and an integral part of our lives. Like any other emotion, we have to accept the fact that we are going to feel angry. Yet, we can control the degree of anger we feel, and how we act and response to anger. The main strategy in managing anger starts by viewing provoking situations in a realistic, non-judgmental, non-personal and with sense of proportion. Then, responding in effective, constructive and assertive manner to the situation, which means neither overlooking the problem (being passive), nor overreacting (being aggressive).

The main challenge in controlling anger is to avoid acting impulsively despite the strong urge to react. The fight and flight response to protect and keep us safe is automatically triggered and is immediately ready to act like a soldier in a combat zone. The key is to deeply understand that we are not in a life and death situation and the alarm (anger) we experience is as a result of our emotional (animalistic) brain. The way to control our emotional brain is to give power to our relatively new cognitive mind. This can be done by not giving up to our emotions and immediately react. It requires patience and slowing down the anger response cycle. It is simply means doing the opposite of what we used to do for so many years and for many generations. In other words, rather than reacting and immediately protecting ourselves, we need to stop, take TIME-OUT to cool down ourselves while getting back to the situation ONLY when we can re-examine the issue in a realistic, non-judgmental, non-personal with sense of proportion. This process is clearly easier said than done, but by being aware of it and practicing it daily while developing our anger management skills, we can gradually improve our anger management and improve our habit to become emotionally strong. This process strengthens our cognitive mind to effectively bring us to a better emotional state and durable fulfillment.