Anger is a strong emotion and an integral part of our lives. Like any other emotion, we have to accept the fact that we are going to feel angry. Yet, we can control the degree of anger we feel, and how we act and response to anger. The main strategy in managing anger starts by viewing provoking situations in a realistic, non-judgmental, non-personal and with sense of proportion. Then, responding in effective, constructive and assertive manner to the situation, which means neither overlooking the problem (being passive), nor overreacting (being aggressive).
The main challenge in controlling anger is to avoid acting impulsively despite the strong urge to react. The fight and flight response to protect and keep us safe is automatically triggered and is immediately ready to act like a soldier in a combat zone. The key is to deeply understand that we are not in a life and death situation and the alarm (anger) we experience is as a result of our emotional (animalistic) brain. The way to control our emotional brain is to give power to our relatively new cognitive mind. This can be done by not giving up to our emotions and immediately react. It requires patience and slowing down the anger response cycle. It is simply means doing the opposite of what we used to do for so many years and for many generations. In other words, rather than reacting and immediately protecting ourselves, we need to stop, take TIME-OUT to cool down ourselves while getting back to the situation ONLY when we can re-examine the issue in a realistic, non-judgmental, non-personal with sense of proportion. This process is clearly easier said than done, but by being aware of it and practicing it daily while developing our anger management skills, we can gradually improve our anger management and improve our habit to become emotionally strong. This process strengthens our cognitive mind to effectively bring us to a better emotional state and durable fulfillment.