Communication skills are essential to healthy long lasting relationships. Below, please find a few tips for improving your communication skills.
Be aware of your feelings and know that you have the right to feel any feeling (boredom, hate, lust, awe). Good communication starts with understanding yourself.
Understand the need behind the feelings
Express your needs in a constructive, assertive way
Communicate in the appropriate time. It is more productive to talk about important issues when both people are rested, sober, and ready for a serious talk. It’s wise to avoid serious discussions when you are tired, or too angry.
Either person should have the right to end the discussion if it gets too angry or out of control. It should be rescheduled one to two days later so that both people be able to communicate in ways that will help reach some type of agreement.
It is helpful to use “I messages” in conflict situations. “I feel upset when you are late.” Avoid “you messages” such as “You are always late”. You have the right to feel any feeling but in conflict situations it’s best to avoid “you messages” which imply judgment.
Use a “consultant” approach. It’s helpful to use “proposal” language. “I propose that we only eat out once a month in order to save money”. Proposal language invites the other person to negotiate with you if they don’t agree with you idea. Proposal language eliminates power and control issues.
Remember that the way you say things-your voice tone and body language-communicate more than your words. Respectful tones are helpful.
Relationship is important to life and to health and having a healthy one start with being assertive while utilizing constructive communication skills.
Please visit author, Moshe Ratson at his Google+ Profile:+Moshe Ratson
spiral2grow, located in midtown New York City (NYC), is a leading provider of couples therapy, infidelity counseling, anger management, business consulting, executive coaching and life coaching. We offer MFT Training and Supervision with effective therapy treatment while utilizing proven psychotherapy and coaching services for individuals, couples, families, executives & organizations.