For an appointment:
Call  917-692-3867
For an appointment : Call  917-692-3867

Dealing With Angry Partner

An angry spouse can be quite frustrating and sometimes even frightening; however, this doesn’t mean that you totally isolate yourself from your other half. Caring for your partner and considering each other’s well being together with learning healthy ways to express emotions can reduce anger in your spouse.

Having a spouse who is angry is no less than a complicated challenge. Your partner might be stressed, depressed, or perhaps they might not have the skills they need to express emotions in a healthy manner.

Angry partners can be a great distraction and destruction to intimate relationship. They drain our energy, waste our time, create negative encounters and disturb our piece. However, if we transform the way we deal with angry people or negative situations in general, then we will transform our live to become less stressful, less angry and more fulfilled.

Whether your partner punches walls, slams doors, withholds communication or sex, threatens, curses, verbally or physically abuse you, these angry behaviors are an attempt to control and inhibit their partner. The effort to control another person by using anger is not only extremely negative social behavior, this behavior will accomplish the exact opposite. It leads to misery and suffering in the relationship and may lead to divorce and break ups due to the deterioration of intimacy.

spiral2grow Marriage Family Therapy is a top provider of anger management in marriage and intimate relationship in New York City. It has relationship experts that specialized in anger counseling and psychotherapy. We teach skills to deal with angry partner and deal with the emotional distress that is created in the relationship. spiral2grow, located in midtown Manhattan at 260 Madison #8023, New York, NY 10016, offers tools for management for anger in intimate relationship in a variety of formats: individual anger management, anger couples therapy, marriage counseling anger management workshop and group in New York City.

Here are some tips to help you deal with an angry partner:

·        Safety First

If you, your children, or your partner is in danger because of your other half’s anger, you should never compromise on safety and must seek help immediately. If you are in immediate danger, do not hesitate to contact emergency services in your homeland. Call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK.

If there is no immediate danger but you believe their anger is growing and may reach dangerous levels, you can seek help from your local domestic violence shelter. It is also a good idea to involve a counselor. Anger often results from depression, and a counselor would be able to identify the root causes.

·        Know You’re on the Same Team

Angry outbursts from either spouse are often a result of supposed injustice, seemingly overwhelming demands, or feelings of disrespect.

Try to be consciously fair, helpful, and respectful as it will help reunite a couple and reduce their anger. Assurances are one way of telling them that you will stand by their side no matter what.

·        Listen

Anger also escalates when a partner feels as if they are not being noticed, heard, or appreciated. Communicate directly, use reflective listening and make sure you reaffirm whatever your partner shares with you to make them feel they’re being understood.

·        Establish Emotional Safety

In many cases, anger responses are a result of either partner feeling threatened or injured. It is important to say kind things instead of criticizing them. It’s crucial to be sincere instead of mocking them. Besides that, listening attentively will make your spouse feel emotionally safe.

·        Change Your Habits

Just like we form all kinds of other habits, the way we communicate and respond emotionally to our partners also develops into habits. It is a good idea to analyze and observe how you interact with your partner and make any changes to the tone or timing of your responses. The style of communication we adapt can assist in breaking our bad habits and building new ones to enhance your and your partner’s emotional health.

·        Be a Companion

Your partner is your friend, your equal, and your teammate. Do not start parenting your spouse, nag them, or talk down to them. Share your responsibilities, enjoy positive activities together and say kind things. Laugh together, have fun, talk, and smile. These are the things that make life beautiful and enjoyable!

The following ways are manifestation of anger in couples or married relationship:

  • Anxiety and stress that leads to negative energy and bad atmosphere
  • Repeating negative vicious cycles
  • Continual conflict and escalation
  • Breakdown in communication
  • Verbal, emotional, physical and sexual abuse
  • Walking on eggshells – Not feeling safe
  • You feel life should be fair, and things are not how you want them to be
  • Impatience and short Temper
  • Court Mandated Anger management therapy

As you can see anger in relationship can be manifested in many ways. Check to find more about faces of Anger.

More about Anger Management
  • The Anger Control Workbook - by McKay, Matthew & Rogers, Peter
  • The Anger Habit – by Semmelroth, Carl & Smith, Donald
  • The Anger Habit Workbook – by Semmelroth, Carol


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spiral2grow re-defined our relationships and focus. We still have challenges, yet we are committed to handle them ...
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in New York City
License # : 000697