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Jealousy is a normal emotions that has its own evolutionary explanation. Sometimes the feeling is justified and at other times it isn’t. However, when people experience it strongly, frequently and act on it when it is unnecessary, it may lead to a destruction of trust and intimacy. It might even lead to the termination of the relationship.
Jealousy can be normal and may flare when you feel that a person you love may be “taken away” by someone else. It’s a response to what you feel could be a threat to your relationship. However, jealousy can be a dangerous response one with the potential to damage your relationship with your spouse, unless you understand why it exists and how to manage it.
Some forms of jealousy are in fact good, as they do signal a threat. For example, if you catch a woman batting her eyes at your husband, a flag goes up inside of you: “This woman is trying to make a move on my husband.” Clearly, you love your husband and want to guard your marriage, so it’s not a bad thing that you feel the desire to protect it. the main point is the degree and intensity of the jealousy, how frequent in happens, what is the context and more importantly how you express your jealousy.
Jealousy is an emotion activating, and fed by a combination of love, fear and anger, resentment, inadequacy and helplessness. Jealousy is driven by deep seeded feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection.
Many people describe jealousy as an extremely painful, “ugly” and “crazy” feeling. It manifests itself as illogical rage, suspicion, the inability to get beyond an infraction, the impulse to hurt the other, or the urge to simply hide. Simply said, jealousy can hijack our cognition and pushes us to act negatively.
Many believe that the underline reason for jealousy is to prevent infidelity. But the main reason is deeper than that and created by personal insecurity. The fact is that no one can control their partner, and if someone want to cheat they will ultimately cheat. Not only a jealous person cannot keep their partner loyal, but it damages the trust in the relationship and pushes away their partner to cheat.
spiral2grow Marriage Family Therapy, a leading provider in couples counseling and marriage therapy in New York City, has marriage counselors and couples therapists, who are expert in helping couples overcome jealousy and build trust. We guide couples through their emotional challenges, build relationship skills, while re-establishing their trust as a foundation for healthy marriage. Located in midtown Manhattan at 260 Madison #8023, New York, NY 10016, spiral2grow offers effective, proven short-term marriage therapy and couples counseling.