No matter how great your fiance or love relationship is, there are a few things you need to discuss and even negotiate before you get married (premarital). The below questions may help you reflect on your relationship and help you to focus on the areas that require change or improvement.
- What is the meaning of family? Marriage?
- What love and intimacy means to you? How is it manifest in your life?
- What is the meaning of trust? Freedom? Autonomy? Independence?
- What is your view of what being a wife, husband, mother, father means to you?
- What is the role of your work or occupation? How do you balance work and other roles?
- What are your personal aspirations and goals as individuals and together?
- What attracted you to each other?
- In what significant ways are your different? Similar?
- When do you feel most fulfilled, least fulfilled in your relationship?
- How safe do you feel expressing your innermost thoughts, needs and feelings to your partner?
- Do you proactively nurture your intimate relationship? What do you do to please your partner?
- How supportive are you of your partner’s development?
- How do you resolve your conflicts successfully?
- Do you spend time in activities away from your partner? How often?
- What do we know about our preferences for intimacy?
Premarital counseling can facilitate the process of discussing these questions before getting married. But if counseling isn’t an option, these questions will help engaged couples learn important things about one another.
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