Anger Is Your Compass
Page Contents
ANGER IS YOUR COMPASS
Harness the Wisdom of Anger and Transform Your Life
Practicing psychotherapist Moshe Ratson shows readers how to use their anger as a tool for personal transformation by treating it as an inner GPS that can orient them to unmet needs for safety, positive regard, integrity, and freedom and set them on the path toward constructive action, peace, healing, and growth.
The Premise
Anger is often believed to be a destructive force, and anger can indeed cause great suffering. When people act out of anger, they may make impulsive decisions and violate their values. Whether it is extreme and disproportionate or chronic and habitual, anger can destroy anything in its path: marriages, family relationships, friendships, businesses, careers, and health.
For these reasons, anger is usually seen as an emotion that should be eradicated, controlled, or at least managed. Self-help books for anger typically teach readers how to relax and think more rationally, but they are limited in their effectiveness because they do not get to the root of what makes us angry, nor do they show us how we can use our anger for good.
In Anger Is Your Compass, Moshe Ratson dismantles common misconceptions around this powerful emotion and shows readers how to unlock the transformative potential of anger. Anger is an internal GPS that reveals our core hurts and needs. If we ignore or suppress our anger—or just relax and think more rationally, as many self-help books teach us to do—we will miss out on the wisdom that anger carries. But if we learn to listen to anger and use it wisely, it can show us how to live our values rather than violate them. It can help us become our best selves.
Anger Is Your Compass shows readers how to tap into the vast potential beneath their anger. It teaches a transformative three-step process for interpreting the information signaled by their anger, and then consciously and mindfully moving toward the aspired self. When you unveil the wisdom underneath anger, you become the fullest expression of yourself, a warrior-philosopher—someone who’s courageous, wise, and disciplined. The principles and tools in this book empower readers to enhance their self-awareness, build confidence and self-mastery, live with purpose, experience inner serenity, and positively influence others by sending ripples of peace and harmony outward into the world.
The Content
Anger Is Your Compass offers a radical new framework for understanding and responding to anger. The book opens by validating readers’ struggles with anger and inviting them to consider the idea that despite these problems, anger might not be something to gotten rid of but potentially a positive force for healing and transformation—not an obstacle, but a gateway to one’s better self.
The foundational chapters cover the basics of the human brain and mind and briefly explain the role of emotions—including anger—as a kind of personal GPS. The author approaches these topics in a way that blends Eastern philosophy with Western psychology and neuroscience. Understanding the protective and adaptive functions of emotions helps readers begin to see the hidden purpose and value of their own anger.
Part 2 lays out the three basic principles for working with anger:
Responsibility, or shifting from blame to accountability.
Mindfulness, or nonjudgmental awareness of what is happening internally and externally, here and now.
Compassion for both self and other.
The author uses the metaphor of the warrior-philosopher to show readers what they can achieve and experience when they live by these principles: courage, discipline, insight, dignity, self-mastery, and harmony.
In part 3, readers learn the three-step process for using their anger as a force for personal transformation:
- Temper Your Temper. Just as a metal becomes stronger and more flexible by being heated and then cooled in air, anger can make us stronger when we take charge of its heat and intentionally cool it down again. To work skillfully with anger, readers must first notice that they are angry. Once readers learn to recognize their anger cues, they can temper their anger by pausing, breathing, slowing the experience down, and separating thoughts, emotions, and actions. This is also the point at which readers can use emotional-regulation strategies like relaxation or investigating distorted thinking. But unlike many other self-help books, the approach in Anger Is Your Compass does not stop there.
- Think Compassionately. Anger always points to our core hurts and needs. Step two is to interpret the anger to identify these unmet needs. Just as GPS locates objects in four dimensions—latitude, longitude, altitude, and time—anger indicates our location in four dimensions: safety, positive regard, integrity, and freedom. Readers learn to ask themselves,
- Has my physical safety or well-being been threatened? Has a personal boundary been crossed?
- Do I feel hurt, insecure, disrespected, powerless, rejected, or taken advantage of?
- Have my personal values been violated? Is something unjust happening to me or someone else?
- Has someone blocked me from doing something I want or need to do?
- Transform Anger. Once readers have identified what need is not being met—safety, positive regard, integrity, or freedom—they are prepared to decide on an action that will be in line with their values and consistent with the aspired self: assertive, compassionate, and wise. Readers learn to take the next steps, then let go and accept the outcome.
Anger Is Your Compass shows readers how to transform an experience that may seem unacceptable into a rich resource for cultivating clarity, equanimity, harmony, and emotional freedom. Readers who practice this three-step process will discover an internal guidance system that is always available to them, showing them how to be the person they truly wish to be—strong, confident, joyful, authentic, compassionate, and loving. Anger Is Your Compass goes far beyond merely managing anger; it shows readers how to use anger to transform every aspect of their lives. If you are interested in anger counseling, call us today for a free consultation about anger management in NYC.
The Companion Workbook
Anger Is Your Compass Workbook (2025) is the practical companion to the book. It takes the ideas in Anger Is Your Compass and turns them into exercises you can work through on your own, alongside the book, or between therapy sessions.
The Hebrew Edition
Anger Is Your Compass is also available in Hebrew as הכעס הוא המצפן שלנו. Readers in Israel can order the printed book, and readers anywhere can buy the e-book, from Steimatzky. ISBN 979-8-9864245-2-1.
Praise for Anger Is Your Compass
“A profoundly insightful and practical anger and emotional management guide that offers timeless wisdom that resonates deeply in both personal and professional life. It not only illuminates key principles with clarity but also provides actionable steps to apply them, making it an indispensable resource for anyone seeking understanding, growth and happiness.”
Dr. Sue Johnson, Innovator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
“This wise and well-written volume helps you hear the useful messages hidden inside anger, pointing toward your needs and values. If you’ve mishandled your anger in the past, it’s time to learn a more open, compassionate, and useful approach. This book will show you how. Highly recommended.”
Steven Hayes, PhD, Professor of Psychology, University of Nevada; originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT); and author of A Liberated Mind
“Anger Is Your Compass is as thorough a guide to understanding and taming anger as I have seen. Resting on the foundations of personal virtue, mindfulness, and compassion, the book guides you step by step to a better, more fulfilled life.”
Frederic Luskin, PhD, author of Forgive for Good, Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects, professor at the Institute for Transpersonal Psychology
“Anger is a companion we can live with constructively, and this book is an essential guide to help make that happen. It combines current psychological knowledge with wisdom of the ages, and it’s written in an accessible and engaging way. Most books about anger are for people with serious anger problems; this one is for everyone who wants to learn and grow from the universal human experience of anger.”
William Doherty, PhD, Professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota and author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
“Moshe Ratson, in this book, has added an important dimension to the study and treatment of anger. Most authors simply treat anger as something to be reduced or eliminated totally if possible. They miss a critical element captured so beautifully in Anger Is Your Compass. Like anxiety and other negative emotions, anger is a signal. Its purpose is to tell us what is important in our lives and thus to guide our actions. Moshe’s book is filled with clear explanations, relevant examples, and exercises that are likely to improve the lives of readers. It’s a must-read for anyone who wants to better understand their anger.”
Howard Kassinove, PhD, ABPP, Professor Emeritus, Hofstra University and author of Anger Management for Everyone
“Anger Is Your Compass is a wise and compassionate book that shows a way to transform anger by mindfully tuning in to it. You will come to understand that anger is an important teacher that clearly uncovers where you are caught and where you need to bring more attention to, if you want to be free. I highly recommend this beautiful offering by Moshe Ratson.”
Bob Stahl, PhD, coauthor of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook and Living With Your Heart Wide Open
“Anger is inescapable. It’s woven into the fabric of our existence. It’s also a conundrum. On the one hand, anger contributes to everyday conflicts and leads to all sorts of human suffering. On the other hand, it can be an energizing force that activates us to face difficulties and improve our lives. In Anger Is Your Compass, Moshe Ratson helps readers navigate these extremes and better understand the sources of their own anger. This book is beautifully written and provides practical ideas for harnessing the power of anger to face life’s challenges, create more fulfilling relationships, and live with more compassion and harmony.”
Raymond Chip Tafrate, PhD, Professor and Clinical Psychologist, and coauthor of Anger Management for Everyone and The Practitioner’s Guide to Anger Management
“Moshe takes on one of life’s greatest enemies—anger—and shows us, in a practical and scientific manner, how to make it one of our fondest friends. His thoughtful and uplifting commentary on anger reveals a larger truth: the capacity in us to take any uncomfortable emotion or experience in life and turn it into a force for personal transformation. Empowering and liberating!”
Hitendra Wadhwa, PhD, Professor at Columbia Business School, founder of Mentora Institute, and author of Inner Mastery, Outer Impact
“This most illuminating book shows how we may manage anger while making it a valuable asset for us. Highly recommended, not just for furious people, but for calm ones too.”
Aaron Ben-Ze’ev, PhD, past president of the University of Haifa and author of The Arc of Love and The Subtlety of Emotions
“Are you challenged by anger or other uncomfortable emotions? Then turn to this book as your GPS for discovering where you need to stretch. In a wonderfully readable fashion, Moshe Ratson details ways to embrace your anger to identify your growing edges. He offers powerful and effective tools to compassionately transform anger. With clear steps that are described in the book, you can begin to discern what is underneath your emotional energy and how to move toward positive change. As a psychotherapist, I will use the ideas from this book for myself and recommend it to clients.”
Jim Walkup, D.Min., past President of New York State Marriage and Family Therapist Network, and author of I Do! A Marriage Workbook for Engaged Couples
“Anger Is Your Compass is excellent. In these pages, Moshe Ratson shows you how you can learn from your anger and use it to guide you in developing wisdom. This book is a useful tool for everyone who feels overwhelmed by anger, providing a hands-on strategy for how you can incorporate compassion into your approach to handling anger. As the Buddha taught millennia ago, “Anger cannot be overcome by anger, but by love alone.” Anger Is Your Compass will show you exactly how you can do that.”
Christian Conte, PhD, author of Walking Through Anger
“Moshe is an important contributor to a third wave of anger books. His integrative framework is an innovative, interesting, informative, and—most importantly—useful approach to anger.”
Ronald Potter-Efron, MSW, PhD, author of Angry All the Time and Letting Go of Anger
“Anger Is Your Compass is a solid contribution to the fields of anger management, domestic violence, and crisis intervention.”
Rich Pfeiffer, MDiv, PhD, President of the National Anger Management Association (NAMA) and author of Anger Management Workbook
“The ability to understand and manage anger (and other emotions) is a cornerstone of conflict resolution. Moshe’s work not only addresses this important issue but goes a step further. He encourages us not to shy away from these emotions, but to embrace and learn from them. Particularly valuable is the concept that these emotions stem from unmet needs. This allows us to address the root of our conflicts, external and internal, rather than continually dealing with the symptoms.”
Gary Harper, author of The Joy of Conflict Resolution
“Moshe Ratson, in Anger Is Your Compass, gets to the heart of using human anger to its best. He goes a long way toward demystifying this emotion that scares most of us. This book, taken to heart and explored deeply, will open new areas of our lives often closed off for fear of the power of our anger. Highly recommended.”
Jac Conaway, PhD, Pathwork Helper and CoreEnergetic therapist
“This book is comprehensive, insightful, and filled with helpful tips. Read it, apply it, and your life is bound to change for the better.”
Raphael Cushnir, author of The One Thing Holding You Back and Surviving the Divine
“Denying our anger isn’t nearly as useful as understanding it. This thoughtful explanation is a perfect place to start.”
Seth Godin, marketing guru and New York Times bestselling author
