For an appointment:
Call  917-692-3867
For an appointment : Call  917-692-3867

Assertiveness

spiral2grow, a leading provider in assertiveness training and self esteem and self confidence solutions in New York City, has professionals that include assertiveness therapists and assertiveness counselors, who are expert in building assertiveness and self confidence. spiral2grow, located in midtown Manhattan at 260 Madison Avenue #8023, New York, NY 10016, offers assertiveness training and assertiveness counseling in a variety of formats: individual assertiveness training, assertiveness group training for assertiveness and self esteem groups.

If it is in personal or professional life, being assertive can help you build and maintain self confidence in all situations. However, assertiveness does not come naturally to most people as they have learned this skill through life experiences. Integrity, honesty and respect are key elements that help sustain long term healthy relationship. By being assertive, you are respectful of yourself as well as the person you are engaging with.

Being assertive is a core communication skill and means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights and beliefs of others. Assertiveness training have many benefits including personal empowerment, being proactive (rather than being reactive), personal dignity and calmness especially when dealing with difficult people and having the ability to resist aggressive, manipulative and passive ploys of other people. 

  • Read More about Assertiveness Training
    • Assertiveness is a constructive way of thinking and behaving that allows a person to stand up for his needs while respecting the rights of others. Assertive communication is appropriately direct, open and honest, and clarifies one’s needs to the other person without resorting to aggression or manipulation.People who have mastered the skill of assertiveness are able to greatly reduce the level of interpersonal conflict in their lives, thereby reducing a major source of stress. When assertive people face problems, they focus on solutions rather than problems, thereby able to resolve conflict successfully. Ultimately, assertive attitudes and behaviours are at the core of living healthy and productive life. Non-assertive people may be passive or aggressive. Passive individuals are not committed to their own rights and allow others to infringe on their rights rather than to stand up and speak out. On the other hand, aggressive persons are strongly defending their own rights but are also violating the rights of others. Additionally, aggressive individuals insist that their feelings and needs take precedence over other people’s. They also tend to blame others for problems instead of offering solutions.
    • So being assertive involves first of all choosing to communicate effectively– being active rather than passive – and then doing so in a manner that’s both respectful and honest. We have the right and responsibility to ask for what we need. It is important to note that what we are asserting is not our right to have what we are asking for, but rather our right to ask in the first place.
    • Exercising this right increases our self-esteem. Reciprocally, having high self-esteem makes us more likely to exercise our rights with assertive behaviour. In other words, lack of assertiveness promotes low self esteem and social anxiety. While engaging in assertive behaviour is rewarding and leads to positive self-esteem and more fulfilling life. Low self-esteem and assertive behaviour are incompatible. Whenever you see someone being assertive, rather than passive, aggressive, or both, you are witnessing an act of healthy self-esteem. Whenever you see someone verbally attacking others to get what they want, or being indirect about what they want, or silently enduring something they don’t want, you’re witnessing the result and perpetuation of injured self-esteem.
    • Because of this correlation between self-esteem and assertiveness, it’s tricky to teach assertiveness skills without addressing underlying self-esteem issues. But fortunately, the relationship between self-esteem and assertiveness tends to be reciprocal. In other words, while it is clear that having high self-esteem makes it easier to practice assertive communication, it also goes in the other direction. Acting assertively promotes healthy self-esteem. Assertiveness means being positive and confident about ourselves, our ideas, opinions and talents while and expressing these in the service of the universal value. When we are assertive, we have the strength to resist negative influences and to influence others in a positive manner. We ask for what we need while protect ourselves and others. When we practice assertiveness, we practice healthy self-esteem, citizenship, and courage.
  • Assertive VS. Aggressive Behavior
    • In the long run, aggressive behavior results in a negative outcome while assertive behavior results in a positive result. This is true in most situations, but especially when anger takes place. It is critical to understand differentiate between aggressive behavior and assertive behavior. Assertive behavior involves respecting all parties involved while standing up for personal rights. It is an attitude and behavior that is expressed directly without violating another person’s rights. The purpose of assertive behavior is constructive and respectful communication with mutuality. It is ultimately designed to provide a win-win outcome (in spite of the differences). Aggressive behavior, on the other hand, violate of the rights of others, while its dominated by short term perspective and one-sided winning attitude.
    • The following are few elements that describe Assertive Vice Aggressive Style:
    • Assertive Style
    • Uses “I” statements that focuses on oneself feelings
    • Takes responsibility for one’s feelings and actions
    • Communicates clearly needs and wants
    • Defines the specific issue/problem and describe specifically what behaviors what changes are required
    • Avoids general extreme words such as “always” and “never”
    • Behaves calmly and respectfully
    • Utilizes active listening techniques
    • Aggressive Style
    • Uses “you” statements to blame or intimidate
    • Avoids responsibility for one’s feelings and actions
    • Uses put-downs, curses, name-calling, threats and aggressiveness
    • Focuses on talking rather than listening and understanding the other side
    • Engages in forceful actions and manipulation
    • Sets up “win-lose” situations instead of win-win
More about Self Esteem and Confidence
  • http://www.more-selfesteem.com – articles, books and information about self-esteem
  • http://www.self-esteem-nase.org - The National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE) purpose is to fully integrate self-esteem into the fabric of American society so that every individual experiences personal worth and happiness.
  • http://www.selfesteemawareness.com - Practical guide and wealthy of information on Building self esteem and confidence and increasing awareness
  • The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem - a great book by Nathaniel Branden
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Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in New York City
License # : 000697