Therapy for Non-Monogamous Relationships
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Over the years, I have been seeing increasing numbers of couples and relationships which choose to embrace non-monogamous lifestyle. They accepted unconventional view and expectations of monogamy and sexual fidelity. Many of these relationships struggle to find therapists and support in their lives, as they aspire to make their relationships succeed. While all relationships require work and investment, non-monogamous relationships have unique challenges that may amplify the difficulties.
Many of those who pursue polyamorous relationships find them to be desirable and fulfilling. Yet, when challenges arise and partners cannot solve them alone, a non-monogamous expert therapist or other mental health professionals may often be able to help partners navigate polyamory and other nonmonogamous relationship styles.
Since individuals have different preferences, they also pursue relationships in a variety of ways. Some people find a monogamous relationship style works for them. Others find that monogamy does not work for them and choose to pursue some style of nonmonogamous relationship.
Some pursue an open relationship or choose to share partners out of the desire to experience casual sex/intimacy with multiple partners. Others find they experience love and affection for multiple individuals at the same time. They may feel the need to pursue it.
As infidelity and divorce is growing, a larger number of individuals see that total monogamy for a lifetime is very challenging. This is why today more partners are looking for a more flexible structure and arrangement when it comes to their intimacy and sexuality.
While monogamy is generally still the norm in many cultures, non-monogamy is becoming increasingly recognized as a relationship style. To many, polyamory and other forms of nonmonogamy may be as natural as other people feels about monogamy.
Many of those who pursue consensual non-monogamous relationships find them to be attractive and fulfilling. Yet, when problems arise and the parties involved cannot solve them by themselves, a non-monogamous expert couples therapist may often be able to help partners navigate polyamory and other nonmonogamous relationship styles.
In spiral2grow the therapy for non-monogamous relationship is led by Moshe Ratson (MBA, MS MFT, LMFT), a Licensed Couples and Marriage Therapist (LMFT). Moshe is often contacted by people seeking help in finding therapists who can suspend judgment and work with couples and help them move from where they are to where they want to be. spiral2grow is located in the heart of New York City – close to Grand Central Station (NYC). spiral2grow welcomes individuals and couples of all sexual orientations and gender identities and hope that you will find my knowledge, experience and respect an added benefit to our work together.
Background to Open Relationship
More than ever before, the high infidelity and divorce rates encourage some people to explore the idea of open marriage and polyamory. In addition, as technologies, options and abundances amplify, it enhances the complexities of modern intimate relationships, and pushes some of them to investigate and experiment alternatives to a monogamy and a conventional marriage.
While many people view the notion of an “ideal” romantic relationship as having single partner for life that satisfies all your love and intimate need, there are others who are also interested in expanding their emotional, intimate and sexual experience beyond one partner. Open relationship, polyamory and nonmonogamy are only a few examples for looking beyond the exclusivity of the conventional marriage and intimacy.
Couples who opt for open relationship are mostly challenged by the qualities of stability, security and reassurance of commitment to monogamy, yet they are looking for excitement, novelty, passion, freedom, and thrill. It is and ego-boost and pleasing to know that you are still desired by people who are not your spouse. It is also self-gratifying to have the freedom to act on your desire, and experience variation, especially in the sexual area.
Types of Consensual Non-monogamous Relationships:
Many of those who pursue consensual non-monogamous relationships find them to be attractive and fulfilling. Yet, when problems arise and the parties involved cannot solve them by themselves, a non-monogamous expert couples therapist may often be able to help partners navigate polyamory and other nonmonogamous relationship styles.
Open Relationship
An open relationship is a committed relationship in which one or both partners pursue sexual relationship outside of their partnership. Couples that has the openness and permission to have sex with whomever/whenever the couples define as OK.
Lifestyle Couple or Swingers
Swingers – Typically defined as a couple in a committed relationship that have sex with others. Generally, both partners in the relationship will swap spouses with another couple and will exercise sex with other committed partners. In general, in this type of relationship the engagement with others is not focused on emotional intimacy.
Polyamorous Relationship
Polyamory is defined as a consent to practice intimacy and romantic love with more than one partner at the same time. While there are variations on this relationship style, generally, polyamorous relationships involve commitment to multiple partners.
Polyfidelity
Polyfidelity is a “group marriage” model, essentially the same as being married-except you’re married to more than one person. Those who are involved live together, share finances, children, family and household responsibilities and are committed and exclusive to each other.
As there is not a distinct line between the various form of non-monogamous relationship, I like to think of it as a continuum.
Challenges of Nonmonogamus Relationships
While there is increase numbers of open relationships and greater acceptance, open relationship largely exists outside social norms. This is why many individuals are private about their relationships. Nonmonogamous relationships may be challenged by the same issues occurring in monogamous relationships and also by unique situations particular to nonmonogamy. Here are some of the challenges:
