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Anger management or better said a healthy anger management is one of the most important qualities any human being can have. Anger management is essential to lead peaceful and happy lives. As such, Buddhism places great emphasis on dealing with anger in order to experience peaceful life and happiness.
Once you manage your anger, or any emotion, particularly ”negative” emotion, you become proactive and responsible and ultimately empower yourself to take control over your life. If you allow anger to control your actions, it basically makes you powerless. Buddhism teaches us that anger challenged us to look deeply into ourselves and understand ourselves. So, when one deals with anger, it is important to clarify the need and desire beneath that anger. The need or desire that is not fulfilled at the moment of anger. We tend to think that anger is caused by something outside ourselves, such as other people “wrong doing” ”bad judgment” or disappointing events. But the fact is that no one makes us angry, but ourselves. Our anger is created by our own subjective mind. It is not what happens to us makes us angry, but what we make out of it is what makes us angry. It is our unfulfilled needs and expectation that makes us angry.
Buddhism teaches us patience and mindfulness. Being mindful and patience with ourselves and others is key part of that philosophy. When an unpleasant feeling or thought arises, do not suppress it, run away from it, or avoid it. Instead, observe and face it and fully acknowledge it. Once you acknowledge the feeling, then process it by understanding the need and desire underneath the anger. Understand and accept the need that is not met. It is important to be honest with yourself while clarifying your needs and desires. This is why self reflection and analysis is the key for well being and growth. Based on Buddhism and for any psychological growth, this factor is the main element for growth, change and having a healthy life.
To solve the problem of anger we first need to recognize the anger within our mind, acknowledge how it harms both ourselves and others, and understand the importance of patience and being less reactive. It is not easy to be patient in the face of difficulties, yet we need to appreciate the challenge and recognize its long term benefits. Anger pushes us to resolve itself immediately and drives us to be impulsive. Yet, practicing patience provides us the answer to anger and allows us to overcome its negative consequences. Responding to anger with patient and reason is, according to Buddhism, a wiser and stronger approach of dealing with any situation or problem.
In addition, Buddhism encourages us to meditate. Meditation as is a source of power that makes us aware of anger and why it is happening. It also allows us to convert the negative emotional energy of anger into constructive energy. Meditation allows us to look deeply into the nature of anger, becomes more aware of its source and allows us to clarify personal needs and wants. As such, meditation is an effective anger management technique that can assist in the identification and acceptance of anger while responding to it in a constructive healthy way. Managing anger does lead to a life that is more peaceful, happier and with less stress. Meditation and anger management are not easy to achieve and require on-going consistent practice while being patience and commitment.
Please visit author, Moshe Ratson (Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, NYC) at his google+ Profile:+Moshe Ratson