For an appointment:
Call  917-692-3867
For an appointment : Call  917-692-3867

Conflict Resolution Training

A famous family therapist, Carl Whitaker, a well know family therapist said, “Conflict is the pathway to intimacy.” How could a conflict lead to intimacy?

We need to understand like Whitaker understood that conflict in relationship is unavoidable and bound take place. So rather than fight it, you should embrace it (because it won’t help). Also, even though conflict is not enjoyable and easy, when couple engaged with healthy communication and have conflict resolutions skills, they know that conflict is not something that needs to be avoided.

Last but not least, managing conflict successfully adds other deeper dimensions to the relationship such as greater trust, resiliency, intimacy, bonding and happiness. Remember, where there is conflict, a dialogue can be established. Where there is dialogue, there can be healing and prosperity.

spiral2grow, a counseling center in NYC, provides conflict resolution skills for couples and individuals. Our couples counselors and marriage therapists help building successful relationships by providing the necessary conflict resolutions tools. spiral2grow, located in midtown Manhattan at 260 Madison #8023, New York, NY 10016, offers proven couples counseling, marriage therapy and conflict resolutions coaching in a variety of formats: individual psychotherapy, couples counseling, marriage therapy and workshops.

Sometimes stress, personality differences or other precipitating factors can lead to conflict between individuals or within an entire group. Many conflicts would not spiral out of control if people learn and utilize effective conflict resolution techniques.

If you can change your view and attitude toward conflict and see its positive elements, you will be able to appreciate conflict as a gateway that invites more care and more compassion into your life, relationship as well as personal and spiritual growth. Having that in mind, you will be able to experience how working with difference, dissent, and discomfort is the normal path to deep intimacy.

  • Conflict Resolutions skills
    • There is no such thing as a conflict free relationship. Some people have the mistaken belief that a happy partnership or marriage should be no arguing, fighting, or conflict of any kind if they really loved each other. Of course, that is idea is false and a receipt for disaster. A common trait in successful relationship is not the absence of conflicts but knowing how to behave during conflicts. As such, a conflict resolution is an essential characteristic in any successful relationship and empower you to create win-win solutions to the difficulties you face.
    • Relationships turn sour when there are too many conflicts, arguments, quarrels and fights. That is why a learning constructive conflict resolution skills is so important. Finding solutions to problems and differences generates feelings of well-being and sustains loving relationships. With healthy conflict resolution, you can keep arguments and fights to a minimum while enhancing your relationships.
    • One of the biggest challenge and one of the most required treatment goals for couples participating in couples therapy and marriage counseling is conflict resolution. Couples expect their psychotherapist to teach them conflict resolution skills and tools and guide them to healthy and satisfying resolution of the issues that have produced their disagreement and pressure as well as their power struggle. But more importantly, the psychotherapist needs to empower the couples with the necessary skills for conflict resolution to enable them to resolve their differences and conflicts by themselves, while engaging in collaborative decisions process, and also being able to bounce back after upsets or unsuccessful conflict resolution attempts.
    • spiral2grow provides couples therapy and marriage counseling and offers innovative and effective strategies for resolving the underlying issues of conflicts, problems and emotional distress. spiral2grow focuses on both a couple’s relationship conflicts as well as each individual’s symptoms and problems, and how they may contribute to discord in the relationship. We help partners identify the conflict issues within their relationship, and determine what changes are needed – in the relationship and in the behavior of each partner – for both individuals to be fulfilled in a strong, healthy and joyful relationship.
  • The classic Win-Win Waltz Worksheet for conflict resolution
    • STEP 1: EXPRESS INITIAL IDEAS
    • A’s Initial solution proposal:
    • ____________________________________________________________________________
    • B’s Initial solution proposal:
    • ____________________________________________________________________________
    • STEP 2: EXPLORE UNDERLYING CONCERNS
      _______________________________________________________
      _______________________________________________________
      _______________________________________________________
      _______________________________________________________
      _______________________________________________________
      _______________________________________________________
    • Note: Be sure to list all the concerns of both participants on one list, indicating that any concern of one of you immediately becomes a shared concern of both of you.
    • STEP 3: CREATE a WIN-WIN SOLUTION, responsive to all the concerns
    • * Start by identifying the most strongly felt concerns, building the plan initially around the most strongly felt concerns.
      * Add enhancements until all the concerns are responded to.
      * Suggest only what you yourself might be willing to do.
      * Express appreciation of what the other offers
      * Add additional concerns that each proposed solution may raise, and create solution options responsive to these concerns as well.
      * Aim to build a solution set, a comprehensive solution
    • Potential win-win
    • ideas:_____________________________________________________________________
    • __________________________________________________________________________
    • Circle back one more time: have all the concerns been responded to in the plan of action? Add further details to the plan as needed.
    • In sum, WIN-WIN means that the plan of action has elements responsive to all of the concerns of both of you. While neither of you may have “gotten your way” with regard to you initial solution ideas, both of you will have succeeded in getting what you wanted!
More about Communications , Conflict and Anger
Resources
  • The Power of Two - by Susan Hitler
  • The Anger Habit – by Semmelroth, Carl & Smith, Donald
  • The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation by Alan Fruzzertti
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Resources

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in New York City
License # : 000697