For an appointment:
Call  917-692-3867
For an appointment : Call  917-692-3867

Build Trust in Relationship

spiral2grow Marriage Family Therapy, a leading provider in couples counseling and marriage therapy in New York City, has marriage counselors and couples therapists, who are expert in helping couples building trust and overcoming infidelity and affair. We guide couples through their crisis, save relationship, while rebuilding their trust as a foundation for healthy marriage. Located in midtown Manhattan at 260 Madison #8023, New York, NY 10016, spiral2grow offers effective and result-oriented marriage counseling and couples therapy.

In a world filled with distrust, those who can truly trust each other enjoy the possibility of having a breakthrough in their relationships and reach a next level of intimacy. It is because together they feel free to co-create, be spontaneous, and contribute to each other’s well being and happiness.

One of the most important components of an intimate relationship is the establishment of trust. It is a fundamental element in a healthy relationship and it woven into the very fiber of every aspect of a relationship. Trust is a key indicator of the degree of how healthy and intimate is a relationship. A relationship begins with trust, as it is the cement of the foundation that leads to a happy, long-lasting relationship. Accordingly, trust is something that should be created, protected, valued and enjoyed.

  • Overview of Trust in Relationship
    • Trust allows you to have a safe environment and confidence to share your feelings, thoughts, emotions, desires and your true self with someone else without being judge or rejected. When you extend your trust to your partner and share personal details of your life, while being validated, you enhance your intimacy to reach a deeper level of relationship.
    • On the other hand, if you are not keeping your word or promise, lying and cheating, it becomes damaging to the relationship. It breaks down the foundation, in which healthy relationship is built upon. In addition to the trust itself, problems spill over to many areas of the relationship. In is not uncommon that lack of trust may lead to stress, anxiety, anger and negatively impacts intimacy. It may even create a deep rift and can lead to the termination of the relationship.
    • In the end, trust in relationships requires all parties involved in the relationship to be proactive and responsible for their actions. To increase the chances of a happy, healthy relationship, individuals must behave ethically and truthfully. As such, trust must be built, earned and maintained.
  • The Benefits of Trust in a Relationship
    • Trust contributes to each other’s well being and freedom to express who you are. You cannot have the confidence to share your feelings, thoughts, emotions, desires and yourself with someone else without having safe, confidence and trustful relationship. When you trust, you can be who you are and be accepted as you are with your strength as well as your weaknesses. Trustful partners permit each other to reach into areas that others didn’t allow them to go. It is also an opportunity to get to know ourselves in a way we might not have otherwise known because we have the ability to open up and explore who we really are.
    • Trust is the trademark of the personal relationships between the people who constitute a healthy constructive team. When you extend your trust to someone else, you provide safety and security to experience the great potential of love and intimacy. Trust provides the comfort where two people can learn to count on each other. Without trust, there is fear, insecurity and limited intimacy and freedom. Without this trust, no legal agreement, no structure, and no process can bring happiness, fulfillment, or synergy.
    • With trust come freedom, safety and security to experience the great potential of love and intimacy. When you trust, you feel free to share your heart and soul with your partner. You can be who you are and be accepted as you are with your strength and weaknesses. You can be completely vulnerable with your spouse in a way that you cannot be with any other person. It is also an opportunity to get to know ourselves in a way we might not have otherwise known because we have the ability to open up and explore ourselves.
    • Trust is the glue that binds relationships and the grease that prevents frictional differences from becoming unbearable. A lack of trust can lead to a lot of pain, misunderstandings, arguments, and stress and without it, there is insecurity and limited intimacy.
  • When Trust is Lost
    • When trust is lost due to the actions of one or both partners it can lead to anger, anxiety, reduced intimacy and potentially the end of the relationship. Without trust, there is jealousy, insecurity and limited intimacy and freedom.
    • It is much more difficult to earn trust back when it is broken than to maintain trust in your marriage or relationship. That is why it is so important to safeguard yourself and your spouse from the devastation and pain of broken trust. Part of those preventative measures is accountability and responsibility toward one another. Honesty and transparency helps keeps partners in check. Yet, respect, space and privacy must be cherished as well.
    • Broken trust in marriages can be devastating and very difficult to overcome. Rebuilding broken trust is challenging. However, it is possible to regain the trust when couples are committed to the process, being patience, have open communication and to forgive and do the right things to salvage trust.
    • In case of infidelity and affair in a marriage, the challenge is even greater. Yet, there is still hope of recovery from infidelity in a marriage, but it is not easy. The most important things to remember are that the “offender” must be completely committed to changing his/her behavior. At the same time, the “offended” must forgiveness and accept that the painful past cannot be undone. Also, it is important to understand that the process of rebuilding that trust will most bring a roller coaster of emotions, particularly anger. The process will take a lot of time while requiring love, patience and commitment.
    • If you find yourself struggling with trust issues, I would encourage you to seek counselors and professional help to guide you and be a valuable resource in these difficult times. The psychotherapist will furnish you with the necessary tools to successfully overcome those struggles.
  • How to Create Trust
    • Be Truthful
    • Not keeping your words, lying and cheating is harmful to the relationship and breaks down the foundation, in which healthy relationship is built upon. In his book “The Four Agreements,” Don Miguel Ruiz wrote “Be Impeccable with your words. Telling the truth is the most important factor in making an intimate relationship stable and persistent. The fact is that the truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving manners. Yes, the truth can be hurtful, but the alternative is much more costly and damaging to building trust in the relationship. The truth is a critical way to maintain healthy relationship. If you give your word to do something, you must follow through. So, “Do what you say and say what you do.
    • Be Reliable
    • Reliability is important because of each person’s need to have someone they can count on. As couples develop their relationship together, spouses take on specific roles and responsibilities in the relationship. They rely on each other to effectively manage the marriage or family together.
    • Be Yourself
    • It is important to know that you build trust in a relationship by entrusting yourself to the other person. If you are reluctant to share your thoughts, values, and impressions or take a stand, you also challenged by finding your true self. And by that you might destroy trust. When you know who you are and feel comfortable with yourself and able to express it to others, they will respect you. They will get to know you more deeply and also will respect you. They will see you as a person of character and they will trust you.
    • Communicate Effectively
    • Communication is defined as the transfer of information from one person to another. Communication has power, but like any powerful tool it needs to be used effectively or it can cause self-inflicted harm. Communication plays an important role in developing trust within a relationship. Harnessing the power of communication is a fundamental to building trust and healthy relationship. The key is clear communication and avoidance of interpretation and assumption.
    • Establish Healthy Boundaries
    • Setting clear boundaries s important as it protects you from being hurt or moving into territory that will be destructive or have negative energy. When you know yourself and your limits and boundaries, you refuse suppression; the other person comes to trust you. Boundaries whether it’s an absence of them or not enough are the core thread of issues in relationship. Individual must draw the line and say NO!, when it is required to maintain well-being. By saying NO you send a message to the that you will not live in fear and you will be truthful to your needs.
    • Think Unity
    • When one person exhibits behaviors in which they give to the other person or the relationship, trust develops. The opposite of selfishness is unity and giving. A balanced attitude between self interest and relationship interest is important as building and contribution must be mutual in order to avoid resentment of one partner toward the other.
    • Invest in your Relationship
    • Relationship is a challenge with a great opportunity to grow and be happy, yet it is not an easy thing to build. It requires high level of investment. If you want to succeed in your relationship, accept the challenge and face it. Obstacles, trials and pain can serve as a lesson, in which you can script your life to reach your growth and destination.
More about Infidelity and Affair counseling
Resources
  • After the affair by Janis Spring - Book
  • What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by John Gottman
  • Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love - by Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley, and Susan L.
  • The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships - by John Gottman
  • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples -  by Harville Hendrix
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Resources

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in New York City
License # : 000697