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Six Pillars of Self Confidence

spiral2grow, a leading provider of self esteem and self confidence solutions in New York City, has professionals that include self esteem therapists and self esteem counselors, who are expert in building self esteem and building self confidence. spiral2grow, located in midtown Manhattan at 260 Madison Avenue #8023, New York, NY 10016, offers self confidence treatment and counseling in a variety of formats: individual self confidence psychotherapy, self confidence groups and workshops.

Six Pillars of Self Confidence

Nathaniel Branden is a well-known psychiatrist and expert in the area of self esteem. In his great book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden talks about the importance of Self-Acceptance. He wrote: “As a psychotherapist I see nothing does as much for an individual’s self-esteem as becoming aware of and accepting disowned parts of the self. The first steps of healing and growth are awareness and acceptance – consciousness and integration.”

And Branden also reminds us that it’s not just our darkness, but our light that can frighten us: “We can run not only from our dark side but also from our bright side from anything that threatens to make us stand out or stand alone, or that calls for the awakening of the hero within us, or that asks that we break through to a higher level of consciousness and reach a higher ground of integrity. The greatest crime we commit against ourselves is not that we may deny or disown our shortcomings but that we deny and disown our greatness—because it frightens us. If a fully realized self-acceptance does not evade the worst within us, neither does it evade the best.”

From his book “Six Pillars of Self Esteem” I pulled out a few of the many constructive ideas that can immediately be applied in our lives and establish healthy self esteem and confidence:

  • Living Consciously
    • Living consciously is living mindfully. It is a mental practice that encourages individuals to consciously engage their mental faculty as they go about their days. It is about being open to things around us while living in the present and constantly seeking out knowledge and experience. As your awareness increases, so your peace of mind, tranquility and joy increase too.
  • Self-Acceptance
    • We can run not only from our dark side but also from our bright side. We can run from what we fear or what awakes the hero within us to face our fear and break through to a higher level of consciousness and reach a higher ground of integrity. Branden added that we may deny or disown our shortcomings, but even worse is when we deny and disown our greatness – because it frightens us.In addition to the acceptance of our bright side, he strongly recommends that we become aware of and accept disowned parts of ourselves. The first steps of healing and growth are awareness and acceptance; consciousness and integration. These elements are the key for an individual’s self-esteem.
      So, accept yourself with your strengths as well as your weaknesses and aspire to integrate all your parts to enhance your “United Self.”
  • Self-Responsibility
    • “I am responsible for my choices and actions,” Branden writes. To be “responsible” in this context means responsible not as the recipient of moral blame or guilt, but responsible as the creator and chief driving force in our life and behavior.At the heart of personal responsibility is the ability to own up to the fact that you are in control of your life. You are responsible for your feelings, thoughts or actions as well as your successes and failures. Own your choices and actions and be conscious of what you are doing and how it affects those around you.We are responsible when we are able to respond to life’s challenges as healthy, independent human beings, without blame and sense of victimization. We recognize our ability to manifest our desires as we engage in life.So, give yourself permission to think and do what you wish but accept the responsibilities and consequences of your actions.
  • Living Purposefully
    • Branden explains that to live purposefully is to use our power toward reaching our goals: the goal of learning, of building a career, of creating a family, of starting a new business, of solving a technical problem, of sustaining a happy intimate relationship. It is our goals that move us forward, that motivate our being and energize our existence to have a more fulfilling life.If we are able to define what we are passionate about?.what deeply inspires or motivates us, what our vision is, what our goals are, what is that we want and what we must do, then we can create our purpose as well as the plan toward reaching it.So, live life with a purpose, identify your goals and plan your work toward achieving them.
  • Self-Assertiveness
    • To practice self-assertiveness is to live authentically, to speak and act from your innermost convictions and feelings, while respecting others. Assertiveness is a way of life. If it is in your personal or your professional life, being assertive can help you build and maintain self confidence in all situations.So, stand up for yourself and be authentic and assertive. Live in reality and never be untrue to yourself. In other words, practice self-assertiveness.
  • Personal Integrity
    • Personal integrity means to live your life with principles of behavior to which you remain loyal. Living with integrity brings wholeness and peace. When you live with integrity, you influence, inspire and motivate others; not just with your words but mainly with your actions.Are your ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs and behavior all aligned? And, perhaps even more important, do you have a sense of what your ideals, convictions, standards and beliefs are so you can use them as a basis for measuring how you are doing? It is important to answer these questions if you want to live life with integrity.Without practicing personal integrity, the preceding practices disintegrate. Branden writes “Integrity is the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs and ultimately behavior. When our behavior is congruent with our values, when ideals and practice match up, we have integrity. So, live by your own truth, speak the truth and live by that. Be fair and treat others fairly and respectfully.
  • Practice Makes Perfect
    • By acting we build our self esteem and by acting consistently we become disciplined and practice healthy self confidence. For the best practice, Daniel Branden suggests the small step approach. He said that Small Improvements make a difference and lead to Big Results.
More about Self Esteem and Confidence
  • http://www.more-selfesteem.com – articles, books and information about self-esteem
  • http://www.self-esteem-nase.org - The National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE) purpose is to fully integrate self-esteem into the fabric of American society so that every individual experiences personal worth and happiness.
  • http://www.selfesteemawareness.com  - Practical information for Building self esteem and confidence with awareness
  • The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem - a great book by Nathaniel Branden
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Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in New York City
License # : 000697