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Anger Manifestation

spiral2grow, a leading provider of anger management solutions in New York, has anger management professionals, who are expert in many anger behaviors and problems. spiral2grow, located in midtown Manhattan at 260 Madison #8023, New York, NY 10016, offers management for anger issues and anger behavior problems.

Manifestation of Angry Behavior

Angry behavior can be manifested in many different ways and not only in the “classical” anger way like shouting, cursing, threatening or being physical. When displayed through acts like aggression and abuse, it is evident. Other anger ways may show in agitation, irritability, resentment, impatience, irritability, or sarcasm. However, at times, a person may not speak or act in an obvious aggressive way, yet act angrily.

Below, you can find variety of ways that angry behavior can manifest itself:

  • Passive aggressive
    • Passive aggressive behavior takes many forms but can generally be described as a non-verbal aggression that manifests in a negative behavior. A passive aggressive might not always show that they are angry or resentful. It is expression of aggression in non-assertive, subtle (that is, passive or indirect) ways. Individuals might appear in agreement, friendly, polite, kind and with well-intention. However, underneath the surface, they may be manipulative – hence the term “Passive-Aggressive.”
    • Passive aggressive behavior takes place when the angry individual may withhold praise, attention, affection or intimacy or whatever the object of the anger wants. This person can engage in actions known to upset the other person (“push their buttons”). They may “forget” or fail to follow-through on commitments. At work, if a passive-aggressive individual is angry with his peer or boss, they can stall on a project, not meet deadlines or just ignore the person.
    • Passive-aggressive behavior can manifest itself as procrastination, learned helplessness, hostility etc.. The passive aggressive behavior is masked as jokes, stubbornness, resentment, or deliberate and repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is, often explicitly, responsible.
  • Examples of passive aggressive behaviors
    • Being silent and non-communicative, when problematic issue arise, yet it is not discussed
    • Procrastinating intentionally
    • Sulking or Withdrawing
    • Obstructing deliberately while preventing an event or process of change
    • Avoiding or Ignoring or avoiding involvement or acting “distantly.”
    • Communicating unclearly or being confusing when discussion takes place
    • Chronic (intentional) Lateness
    • Chronic (intentional) Forgetting
    • Avoiding responsibility and unable to look at their own part in a situation. Blaming others for situations
    • Showing disregard/disrespect
    • Making excuses and coming up with reasons for not doing things
    • Avoiding intimacy (emotionally and physically) that provide one-sided control over the relationship
    • Being judgmental while unable to take an objective view of the situation as a whole
    • Victimization – Acting like a victim and verbalizing victimization
    • Pretending not to hear or not to understand
    • Spreading rumors or gossip that produces negativity, or telling hurtful jokes to retaliate
    • Engaging in self-defeating behaviors, or setting others up for failure
    • Behaving secretively or not telling the “whole truth”
    • Demonstrating an “angry smile” or being sarcastic
    • Learned Helplessness where a person continually acts like they can’t help themselves and deliberately performing a poor job for which they are clearly responsible
  • Sarcasm
    • Sarcasm is a socially accepted way to misuse anger, while it is a mean way to act angrily while it is disguised as humor. The sarcastic, angry, person use “humor” or cutting remarks about the other to directly hurt the person. The other person, on the other way, is left “powerless” as there is little they can say since it is so widely accepted. It would take assertiveness and articulation of the person on the receiving end, to stand up for themselves and communicate something like this “that is sarcastic and unacceptable to me.” Unfortunately, not too many individuals realize they have the right to defend themselves with something as common as sarcasm.
  • Cold anger
    • Cold anger is a painful way of withdrawing from the other person, including avoiding emotional or physical intimacy. Cold anger is when individuals refuse to speak to someone for relatively long time as they are unable to forgive. In some cases, the angry person uses this tactic to avoid discussion or provide “the silent treatment” or minimal response in order to gain control over the relationship, punish the other person. Cold anger respond may include withdrawing into long silences to avoid either confronting or connecting with others.
    • It is important to note that cold anger might be more damaging to the person that does it rather to the person that receives it. Cold anger (like most anger) is damaging to your physical and mental health and is like poison than eats away at your soul. It can be just as.
  • Hostility
    • Hostility is a situation when the angry person feels intense emotions, raised voice and becomes even more stressed out while acting impatiently. Hostility is a state of being angry for a long time in which the hostile person is ready to attack or fight constantly. Hostile individuals are often stubborn, hotheaded, impatient, or have an “attitude.” They are frequently in fights or may say they feel like hitting something or someone. Hostility creats negative hostile environment and isolates you from other people.
  • Aggression
    • Aggressive behavior takes place when the angry person acts out physically, cursing yelling, threatening, calling names, blaming or laying on hands. Violent behavior may begin with verbal threats or relatively minor incidents, but over time it may involve physical hurt or injury. Violent behavior can include physical, verbal, or sexual abuse of an intimate partner (domestic violence), a child (child abuse), or an older adult (elder abuse). Violent behavior is very damaging, both physically and emotionally and can be very risky with very negative consequences, even legal consequences.
    • As you can see angry behavior can take many forms, while the aggressive person is directed by the intention to have control over others and their expectations, to push the buttons of the others or to punish others (consciously or unconsciously). Angry behavior is distractive and clearly not recommended as it hurts the relationship and the angry people themselves. Changing angry behaviors and its associated thoughts as well as the angry feelings take time and commitment while having a long term vision (seeing the bigger picture). So, be patient and don’t give up. Overcoming anger leads to the ultimate freedom and happiness.
More about Anger Management
Resources
  • The Anger Control Workbook - by McKay, Matthew & Rogers, Peter
  • The Anger Habit – by Semmelroth, Carl & Smith, Donald
  • The Anger Habit Workbook – by Semmelroth, Carol
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Resources

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in New York City
License # : 000697